Swords. Who the hell doesn't love swords? Whether they're being used to protect your family, seal some evil behind a barrier, cut grass, or to kill someone else's family, swords are bloody, effective, and overall a pretty damn cool way to solve problems. While I couldn't be happier if someone handed me a Broadsword, there are some swords out there that I would really love to have to protect the good, smite evil, and kill someone else's family.
 These are....

(first review in a very long time, so if you have any constructive criticism, please, shut the hell up.)




    "Zack and Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure" is the first Wii-exclusive of  renowned game developer Capcom, known most notably for their Mega Man and Resident Evil franchises. While the name and box art may be off-putting for some, beneath the childish package is a game packed with brilliant puzzles, an epic adventure, and a revolutionary step forward in Wii game design.

Presentation:
    The cel-shaded graphics in this game may seem childish to some, but a few levels in, and you will see that these truly were the best choice for this game. They are very reminiscent of the graphics in "The Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker", in that they are able to successfully show a wide range of facial expressions on characters, and beautifully show off the art style of the game.
    Speaking of the art-style, this is where the game's visuals clearly shine. The designs of the characters are truly unique, and manage to make an impression. After seeing a wide range of expressions on the main character, Zack, I can say that his character is one of the best looking one's in quite a while. The locales are also quite stunning, each boasting a different mood. From a wild jungle, an ice temple, a volcano...thing, and a haunted castle, they are all very unique, and display a wide range of moods.
    However, not all is good on the graphics front. On later levels, there is a significant amount of lag. This is very saddening, as it sometimes slows down the gameplay to a point of frustration.
    I dub thee presentation: 9/10


Audio:
    The music in this game isn't truly impressive. It boasts quite a few songs, but none of them are truly amazing or jaw-dropping. However, they do manage to get the point across, and keep in the mood of the current location. There are a few satisfying tracks, but noting extraordinary.
    The sounds in this game are, for the most part, quite good. There are some cartoony sound-effects for items dropping and people falling, but nothing seems too ridiculous or out of the ordinary. The voices, however, are a different story. While there is no voice-acting, there are a few sound clips of characters saying a few words. Some of them are truly jarring and annoying, sounding like bad japanese voices from an anime. Most notably is Zack's companion Wiki, with his annoying way of calling to Zack. (Zack-uuuuuu!)
    I dub thee audio: 7/10

Gameplay:
    This is where Zack and Wiki truly shines. Taking cues from classic PC adventure games like "The secret of Monkey Island", the puzzles mainly involve you searching for items and finding out where they fit into the greater scheme of things. Enemies like snakes and moles can be "itemized" (turned into a pair of tongs and a drill, respectively) by your monkey pal Wiki (who can also be turned into a bell, go figure). The levels are usually quite small, and task you with getting to a treasure chest that is in plain sight. However, while the levels themselves may be small, the time it takes to get through all the obstacles to a treasure certainly is not. It is very satisfying solving all the small challenges in the level, and extremely rewarding for solving the big puzzles. There is usually more then one way to solve the larger puzzles, so that provides some incentive to play through again.
    The game works on a point and click system. You use the remote for everything, from ringing Wiki, to moving Zack. As stated before, the game requires the use of many tools to achieve your goal, and all of these are controlled via the Wii remote. When you are sawing off a branch, or drilling a hole, you are actually doing these things via the Wii remote. While this may sound gimmicky at first, it is pulled off flawlessly (with the exception of 2 tasks, each of which are only used in one level), and is really a great way to showcase the Wii's functionality.
    The puzzles themselves are really quite brilliant. The first 2 levels are quite easy, but the pace quickly picks up at the third level, where the puzzles come out in full force. While this title may look to be aimed at children, I can't imagine any child being able to complete the puzzles in this game, even with the help of an adult. There are no mid-level saves in the game, so when you die, you must either start over, or use a "Platinum Ticket" to revive to the point before you died, which subtracts quite a bit from your score. There is also a hint-system which can be used, which would seem to be a great way to help you along some parts of the game that would require alot of thinking, the way in which they are implemented makes them nigh-useless. You must buy all the preceding hints of a level before you can access the hints to later points of a level.
    I dub thee gameplay: 9/10

Story:
    The story of Zack and Wiki is quite simple, but it works. The two protagonists stumble upon a chest  which contains the golden skull of the legendary pirate Barbaros, who tasks them with collecting the rest of his golden body parts, in exchange for his legendary ship. There is also a competing pirate team, The Rose Rocks, who, basically, wanna get a lot of treasure. With a semi-obvious plot-twist near the end, the story does have some depth, but it is clearly not of the best quality.
    I dub thee story: 7/10

Replay value
    After you get through a level the first time, it'll likely take you less then 10 minutes to do it again (whereas it would likely take up to 2 hours on your first run). However, there is lots of incentive to play through the levels again. You can try to solve the puzzles in different ways, or max out your score. You could also try to find some treasures you may have missed in your first run. After you beat the game, a large number of secret treasures will be unlocked on each level, needing much experimenting and ingenuity to find.
    I dub thee replay value: 9/10

Zack and Wiki is truly a great game. While the visuals and cover art may lead you to believe it is a children's game, it is actually an extremely enjoyable point and click puzzle game. I believe it to be the best 3rd party Wii title to date, and a must-buy for any owner of the system.

Overall: 5.5/10 (I subtracted 3 points because, of all the pirates in the game, not one was poisonous.)

"It was summer in pine springs that year. How beautiful the sun reflected off of the frozen flowers. Jimmy ran up to the dome and asked for a favor. Magic was afoot. The clock struck noon, as did the birds, the bears, and the limosines. The brotherhood stood resolute in their decision. The wolves screamed with content. But low and behold, it was not the "true" purple. And said Tod " May dog bless us, everyone.".  And the lonely couch was never seen again."

I'm bored, so I'm gonna make miniature profiles of some of my friends. It'll be fun, cause then you guy's get to learn what I REALLY think of you. Note: Any negative comments about you are likely farcical in nature, so don't get all angry if I said you smelled bad or something, twas a joke.

Now, onto the profile:





    He is a very knowledgeable person, as he reads many books and the like. And, out of all my male friends, he seems to be the one who would be easier to talk to about any personal problems I could be facing. I don't know why, he just comes off that way.

    However, you don't want him angry at you, as he is a heartless bastard who will mock, insult, and possibly kick you if you do. However, this doesn't happen to often, and there's usually a good reason. So, just don't be stupid around him.

    All in all, this Trevor kid is an integral part of our little nerd tourage and, quite frankly, it would suck without him. That is all.


Fav quote: Robbie: "You know what'd be funny?"
                    Rashid:"If you died!?!?!?!"

    Don't you just hate it when you see people buy something they really don't need, when they could be saving that money for useful stuff, like a car. Or video games. Here I shalt write a list of some of these useless things. If you have any you want to add, just leave it in the comments.

Oh how I loathe thee. Your ignorance and complete lack of common sense is why you are inferior to everyone (and everything) else. Does your brain not function, or is it just not there? Do you not know how to use a spell check, or have you decided that the squiggly red line is for fun? How is it, that while living in the exact same world as me, you have never heard tell of the word "preposterous"? And why must plague the world with your barely-thought out ideas, and your opinions which were made within seconds of hearing of something? I say to you,  go, read a book, go on the internet, do something that requires mental stimulation, else you will not survive in this world. It'll eat you alive.




Stupid quote from stupid person: "Is that a leech? Don't they like, suck your blood and stuff? You should get that off your skin."

    Hey! I'm not gonna give you any introduction about me because the only people who will read this are my friends, who already know me, and crazy internet stalker/killer people, who I don't want to know me. I'm only writing this cause I'm desperate for something to do. Don't expect weekly updates.
    Anyway, I feel like writing something about me, so I guess I'll tell you why I like to face challenges alone. Anybody who knows me will probably tell you you that I'm not that deep at all. That's true at the moment, but sometimes I face many personal battles in my life, such as depression and junk. I never tell people when I face some of these personal battles because I like to face them alone. I believe that they eventually make me stronger, and will harden me for the next time I have to face the same type of problem. I think of it like an RPG (sad, I know). Facing these challenges alone will make me more prepared for the next time I have to face them. For example, 2 years ago, after my dad died, I faced a 6 month long depression. I didn't tell anyone the way I felt, or try to find someone to help, I faced it by myself. I won that battle (yes, battle! Vivid imagery FTW) and I haven't been truly sad since then.
    I bet alot of you will say bottling up is bad, but I don't see it as that. I see it as facing my own demons. It's probably harder, sure, but I think that I come out stronger and better because of it.
    Anyway, that did little to ease my boredom, so I think I'll go look something up on wikipedia. So...goodbye. (Best conclusion ever)